Resolving the Past and 2024’s resolutions
2023 was a hell of a ride for our family, but definitely for me, SK ✨. Transition is a word that we’ve been using a lot these days to describe all of the changes we can’t stop encountering. From relocating my family 60 miles away from the only home the Littles have known to beginning the process of dissolving the design firm I’ve own and run for the last six years, 2023 came in and put its foot on my neck, yelling and demanding answers I did not have. Goddamn, if I was not going to find them.
While the year was tightening the noose, the universe was working behind the scenes to cut the rope, an old, rugged machete, pulling back-and-forth until finally the old woven structure snapped. And when it did it unleashed and unraveled all of the things that I thought I was holding together, but in fact, were never mine to carry in the first place. When I thought the knife was the problem, I began to witness all of the new things come into my life that would need to be carried with such gentleness and care, considerations I could not have afforded before while bursting at the seams. Even as I was introduced to them, I could not have known how precious these new necessities would be for me. As I consider them all now, I want to reflect on how they’ve grown me, and the resolutions this new person I am becoming has for the future.
Resolving the Past
Call me, SK! I changed my preferred name this year. I’ve gotten so much support from my friends and family to feel comfortable in my presentation. Funny fact: my social media presence has been @esskayyy (or the pronunciation of S.K. for the last 8 years. Well before I had the courage to demand the world call me that as well. How times change once you realize that they can.
Got Comfy. While some people call my new style masc or andro, it truly is about be feeling comfortable when I present myself to the world. It’s put a pep in my step. lol
Soul Connections. I shot my friendship shot this year and didn’t miss! At my big age making friends in queer spaces or creative space is hard af, but being my authentic self really is allowing me to find my people.
Feeling Hella Good! I started a passion project with my best friend that makes me laugh way more than I ever have. It’s already led us to some amazing rooms full of community and collaboration and we even won a pitch competition.
They may seem small, but end of the year with this much confidence this much community, and as much self-care is chemically altering for someone like me. Someone whose anxiety has driven this ship much longer than I can remember. Feeling good about this year means feeling good about me and so to keep the goodness going, I’m making some resolutions for the new year. Here goes nothing:
Resolutions for 2024
Love on her. Every year I aspire to love my wife is new and unique ways. To listen up or show out or show up in such a way that confirms I’m here and present. I know some people love their wives but I really fuck with mine the long way. She’s why I do anything I do.
Sharpen a tool. While I’m definitely more confident and operating in my fullness, I want to always be learning, seeking and growing. Whether a writing or design course, a business workshop or finally taking that improv course, I want to make sure I’m finding ways to grow my gifts.
Be Yourself. For too long, I’ve operated in a way that wrinkled the least amount of feathers. I assumed it was pushing me forward when really, it was doing so much harm to my mind, body and spirit - harm I couldn’t even see until I released myself from it all. Finding the ways to honor all of me (my anxious thoughts, my triggers, my compassion) has been some of my finest work and I think 2024 will be all about diving deeper into authenticity. I’m talking things out until there are solutions, I’m communicating when my feelings are hurt, and I’m saying no to things that don’t serve me.
Your Best Self. I won’t make a commitment to work out or lose pounds because that simply has never worked for me, but these days I’m stretching more and drinking tea without calling it dirty water, so I’m leaning into that. Being confident in my presentation is pouring confidence and dedication into other places and I won’t get in my way. Being my best self really means getting out of my own way.
What are you all looking forward to changing in the new year? Or maybe continuing? What does the start of your year look like? How can we hold each other accountable? Or does that eliminate the opportunitiy to flow into the life of your dreams? If I’ve learned anything from last year, it’s that we have the right to change our minds at an instant and without explanation. I hope that I lean into that level of autonomy this year and continue making the best decisions to be my best self for my damn self.
XO SK